I AM getting old.

I have a lump in my throat today. And because I have that lump I know I'm getting old. And it's all because I had a ham bone in my fridge. Confused yet? Well, I'll try to link them together for you.

I decided to use the ham bone today and make Hamhock and Beans. This is a dish that my mother used to make whenever she had a ham bone. I typically make a more southern-style Red Beans and Rice but today decided that I'd simplify and make the classic standard. I called my mom to get her authentic version that my Grandma McKinnon used to make when we'd go stay with her. They lived on a ranch, and I can remember her bean soup served at the half counter behind her stove to be the best thing I'd ever had. We'd come in from playing in the giant trees behind their house and she'd serve us up a steaming hot bowl. Then she'd give us a cookie from her cow cookie jar. So I wanted to make my pot of beans just like that. My mom told me she puts in beans, ham, onion and water- and the secret ingredient, a Tablespoon of vinegar. That's it. This is a recipe I can actually pull off. So I start assembling it.

As I'm cutting the onion, I'm thinking about eating this at my Grandma's house. And I start thinking more about her. She taught me a lot. She would always play Show Me the Way To Go Home during her organ postlude. (Those of you in my ward, listen close, I do it in her honor sometimes.) She always told me she wished she'd had ten more children because she loved them so much. She'd give us thimble pie if we were being smart with her... this post could be really long if I told you all the things I thought about, so I won't bore you. But that is when the lump came into my throat. I was tearing up with the onion, and then it just progressed to the big lump as I thought of my Grandma. And then I though how only old and fuddy-duddy people get emotional about making ham and beans and thinking about their loved ones. So, logically, I must be old. But I may have to draw the line at fuddy-duddy.