I'm thinking of changing the name of my blog to "The Bad Parent Chronicles." Here's a conversation I had last week, accurate to the best of my recollection.
Rachel: Mom, I need to go to the library today.
Me: Well, today is really busy. I'm not sure if we'll have time.
Rachel: I really need to go. We have an assignment in class to read a book about somebody famous. Then we have to dress like that person and give a report about them. The person that I picked, there were no books about them in the school library.
Me: Oh, who did you pick?
Rachel: Madonna.
Me: What?
Rachel: Madonna. You know, Madonna feat. Timberlake. (That's how it shows up on the ipod for the song "4 minutes" which I have in my workout playlist. ) I like her music and I think she's very talented.
Me: WHAT? WHAT? (How do you indicate screeching whilst typing?) Did you already tell your teacher who you picked?
Rachel: Yes. She said you'd have to take me to the library to find a book on her. (Sage teacher advice.)
Me: I will make time to make it to the library today!! We will pick up some books on many other interesting women you can use for your report. YOU DO NOT WANT TO DRESS UP LIKE MADONNA! She is actually not a very nice person. She focuses mainly on things that are inappropriate... like the 's' word.
Rachel: The 's' word? Oh, no, I didn't know about what she was like. I just liked the song. (Then she got upset and teary thinking she'd really done something awful). sob. sob. (I knew this was coming...) But why do you have her on your ipod? sob. sob.
Me: It's okay. I know you didn't know. I should have told you what a skanky bimbo Madonna was and not ever let you listen to her music- except the Evita soundtrack. (I didn't actually say that-- what I really said was--) Let's find someone else for your report. And it's on my ipod because I like it.
We went to the library during Sarah's dance class and checked out books on Nelly Bly, Amelia Earhart, Cleopatra, Annie Oakley, and Madame Curie. Guess who she picked? Cleopatra. (Kind of going with a theme here.) She has her report written (we have glossed over the Madonna-ish parts of her life) and we are working on the costume. I'm thinking a gold dress with a few strategically placed tassles--just kidding!!
I should probably be happy that my daughter is naive enough to want to do a report on Madonna because she has a great voice. It should be relieving that the suggestivity of the rock n' roll lifestyle goes completely over her head. It's not. It concerns me. I'm not sure how to warn her of the unsavory parts of life without exposing her to them. But I am happy that she has a subtle teacher who didn't embarrass her at school and directed the problem home. I'm just not looking forward to parent teacher conference.
I should find some cones to wear to it, don't you think?
Friday, February 20, 2009
Justify My Parenting
Posted by snakeriverwalton at about 1:05 PM
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8 comments:
I think a Madonna costume would have been easier to come up with!! Teeheehee. Here material girl look would have been fun and easy. However, I've got a rhinestone necklace that might work for a headdress for Cleo.
I don't think you're a bad parent. However we did have a lengthy conversation about taking pills at dinner with Rach tonight. She does a great imitation of you and Ryan convincing her to swallow her pill!
I think you would look rather smashing in cones. Rachel is such a sweetheart!!
Amy, this is in my top ten favorite blog entries of all time (maybe even my top five!). Hilarious! Hilarious!! Beautifully written. I love the sweetness and innocence of my children and of yours. I'd like to try to be a little more like them. I hope you'll post a picture of Sarah in her costume in a future post.
Haha! I love it! Rachel kills me. I wish I could have seen the look on her teacher's face when she told her she was doing her report on Madonna. And though a super skank, she has found ways to stay current on the pop music scene, I mean she's almost 60, you gotta give her credit for that. But I think it was a wise choice going with Cleopatra.
Oh, and your outfit for parent teacher conference? I think I have some Gayle Tingey throw backs in my dress up box that will really help you out.
Nice one Amy. Seriously fabulous blog post. It has rhythm to it (almost like a good song.) I know the feeling--I too would like to just keep their sweet minds clear and innocent. I think the trick is to keep the clear, innocent mind even when you know what's really out there. I've always thought that scripture in 1st Nephi is interesting when Nephi sees his father's dream and comments that his father didn't "behold the filthiness" of the water. Maybe Lehi did see it, but didn't mention it? He was an old man who as the prophet knew a lot about wickedness, but he still had a mind that didn't see the filthiness? I'm thinking this through as I type...not sure where I'm headed here Amy. Longest comment ever. Saturday is that special day you know...
I have a great Madonna book if you want to borrow it.
Well, I guess it could be much worse. You could be listening to all sorts of things on your ipod. Besides, Rachel is giving you some top notch blog fodder.
Just blame it all on Bratz. Poor girls, the seedier side of the world starts in on them at such a young age. I have a feeling Rachel will do just fine.
Oh Wow! My word verification is a real word! AWASH.
Your blog post was awash with insight and humor.
hahaha. That totally sounds like a Rachel thing, thats why we love her! I'm glad you got her to change her mind! Did you take pics of the costume?
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